After bringing both kids with me to my ABC Music and Me class, (which I teach), I’ve realized that it’s about time to decide whether I want to work or stay home. Ah, the eternal dilemma. Paul asked me today if it was worth it to teach these classes, and I thought, well, we don’t need the money, so what exactly is my motivation?
I read in a random book about writing that the basic motivation for humans is to be important. Yeah, that about sums it up, doesn’t it? We all want to be important. And if we fail, we make sure people know that we have failed, because compassion and pity can be construed as being important to someone. It also said that a person’s addiction to having affairs is another example of the all consuming need to be important. To be vital to someone. To have your existence acknowledged. Climbing the corporate ladder, hiking the AT, attending an Ivy League school… you get it.
I guess that’s why everyone blogs. We want to matter to someone. And for some reason, once we matter to someone, that person no longer matters and we want to be acknowledged by someone new! More people, more love, more adoration, more approval, more importance. Because the more people that see that we exist makes us more real, right?
Ah, tangents.
I will never be more important to anyone than I am to my children. My Phoenix Samuel, my Lillian Sparrow. Motherhood is instant immortality. So if money is not my motivation in teaching these classes, what is? I teach piano because I looooove piano. I love music, I get fired up when I talk about it and explain it someone. Not to impress, but because I love it. Not so much with the other classes. That motivation is more to prove that my life is about more than being a mama. But why is that looked down on so much anyway?
Why do I write? I love it. I think that loving something is more excusable than the need to be important, but if it’s the BASIC human motivation, is that so bad?
Just some thoughts. No conclusion yet.
